Summary - Episode 310 L'il Helper
by Jeff Sass

We begin today with Ben greeting all of the ants in his ant farm all with a name very similiar to Joe. A scream eminates from the bedroom and Katz has thrown out his back. Ben offers to throw money at the problem but they agree on getting the pain killers from the medicine cabinet.

We are out in the car where Ben is driving Katz to work. Ben cannot decide which lane to do his daydreaming in so he decides to check the brakes. Jonathan does not find this amusing and it certainly isn't helping his back any.

They make it to the office and Ben gets Jonathan set up. Laura is now going to take over the responsibility of watching Katz but really all she is going to do is call Ben if there is trouble. Laura suggests that Katz take the day off but he is actually looking forward to seeing some of his patients this way. Laura then asks if she can have some of the pills too.

Ken Rogerson is now in the office talking with Laura about how he is getting over the fact that not many people like to talk to him. Laura, the chatterbox that she is, gives absolutely nothing to the conversation.

Inside with Katz, Ken starts talking about his recent divorce. He got divorced because that English-Irish thing hasn't been working out for the past 900 years. His ex likes to go to flea markets and buy things for a dollar like the cracked ashtray, and the cordless lamp.

Ben is back from the things he had to take care of and wants to check up on his dad. They are talking about how doing nothing a lot can lead to a bad back. This is Ben's philosophy of life.

Ken has moved on to discussing how he is going to die. He is waiting to die in his sleep but hopes that the alarm doesn't wake him in the middle of dying. He then suggests a good idea about your friends throwing your ashes at your enemies when you die because that will show them.

Ben brought a few things for his dad to cheer him up. The hot water bottle that he brought from home felt good on the way over.

Ken shot his own turkey for Thanksgiving which he found to be quite fun. When he was in the supermarket with the shotgun he didn't seem to have to wait in line at all.

Ben is then sharing his "sympathy pains" with Laura. His caring nature has earned him a place on the floor. Laura is happy to not help.

Ken is now discussing how in Las Vegas "food is cheap and booze is free". It is hard to keep track of which table you are sitting at and which game you are playing.

Katz is sitting on the floor in the waiting room talking to (not with) Laura. He is mentioning how the only person who has given him any attention is her.

Ben and Katz are on the phone talking about Yoga. Katz took 3rd in the state in Yoga and Ben cannot believe that it was a competitive sport.

Lizz Winstead has entered the office and is describing a nightmare she has about leaving her kid on the top of her car. She then describes how Vicki, the ever perky office mate, is always ready to make brownies and have everyone sign birthday cards.

Dave Juskow is in the waiting room talking with Laura about his one man show that he is doing. Frozen foods is the title of the main song which he sings for all of us.

Back to Lizz and her discussion about how to get kids to abstain from sex while still giving them the knowledge they need. You have to go to your kids and tell them that you abolutely love SEX. This would make them never stop throwing up.

Dave is still talking about his one man show and how he needs to do a big dance number in the street with only one man. He then breaks into his Elvis Costello impersonation. He then asks Laura out on a date.

Over at the bar, Katz is describing how he hurt himself in a game called "how many socks can I pick up in 30 seconds". He then thanks Stanley for the ride and they start a game of "how far will you go for a friend". Katz would lift Julie out of a sinking boat if it came down to it.

Ben is studying Shiatsu (sp?) and he attempts to try it on Jonathan. Aromatherapy is a part of it. They are both ready to hit the pills very soon.

Ken is now onto how everyone drinks in Boston. He is doing community service about the drinking and driving because of his encounter with a lake. You really cannot talk your way out of this one. His father is a mechanic who always asks about the oil. He then moves onto tailgating and how he tosses a stuffed dog out the window when people tailgate because that makes them stay back. Ken is cut off by the music.

Wrapping things up at home Ben and Katz are talking about the "elephant toe" theory. Then Ben says that he would like to be in the helping profession. But he doesn't want to touch anybody so he will just do it on Jonathan.

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Last Modified: April 2, 1999