Episode 106 Family Car
by Jeff Sass

The first season finale begins with Ben and Katz at breakfast discussing the "genuine" articles that Ben can receive from the cereal box. Ben then asks to borrow the car for the day.

In the office is Anthony Clark talking about his parole officer. He then starts in about how Gladiss (sp?) Virginia is about the worst place to live. Clinique 30 is a product everyone who doesn't have hair should buy right now. Tony is the middle child with a big-boned older sister. He also has a mother who has just put a microwave in the bathroom because there is a bigger one for the kitchen. Tony was dating an illegal alien from Ireland. When the relationship ended, he had to report her to immigration. Dr. Katz apparently is not listening. He is tapping his shoe and writing a poem instead of listening.

Ben is out cruisin' the town in the family car. Jonathan calls and Ben has trouble answering the phone. He cannot get it off the receiver, then relates that the car is very sluggish. When Jonathan asks if he has been shifting in the car (it is an automatic) he says "no" but he has been going "whew!!" to the ladies.

Laura is on the phone, to Italy. Jonathan is looking for a cup of coffee and Laura cannot accomodate him. She then calls him a "big square nerd with no sense of humor".

Andy Kindler enters the waiting room to speak with Laura. He wants to know if Katz mentions him outside the sessions. All Laura wants to do is test him to see if he is ready to come in.

Andy is inside now and is talking about his mother and how she doesn't think the 3D stereo pages are good for your eyes. Andy then start talking about being arrested and hopes that the police don't play good-cop bad-cop with him. He went to an audition and was told to not be "schtucky". This of course means "I hate the Jews".

Ben has returned Katz's car and stops by to tell Laura. He has parked it outside where there is the "absolutely no parking anytime" sign. Laura thinks it is okay though and is more than amused to let him stay there.

Kindler is back in the office and studies have shown that his target group is people that are his age and are him.

Ben has finished all of the magazines in the office and wants to start a conversation with Laura. She, however, is too busy watching the car get towed. Ben goes into a panic and they both start yelling shut up. Laura then offers to help as long as he shuts up first.

Andy finds it comforting to call Katz, "doctor". He has also determined the reason that women do not like the three stooges - they aren't funny.

Laura, in a surprisingly helping mood, is outside on the street where she convinces the tow truck driver not to tow the car. She is crying and telling a story about her grandmother needing her medicine. It works.

Back inside with Andy and his description of his mother. He then moves on to his obsessive compulsive nature. He relates a story about how he worries about starting a fire in his house. He sometimes thinks that he hasn't shut the window and maybe a piece of paper will blow onto the pilot light and burn the house down.

Andy now asks Laura a question about wether or not he should tip during the session. Laura says yes.

Over at Jacky's, Katz is telling two jokes. One of them is about tents and the other about a cow. He then needs to ask Stanley for a ride home. Ben has left the emergency brake on while driving and the car is in the shop.

The next morning at the house the Katz family is reviewing how to drive a car. Jonathan then asks Ben to take a bath because Grace is coming over and she shouldn't have to put up with it. Ben doesn't think that he should get his own car. He believes in the American dream - the family car.

Tony is back on the couch talking about how the stewardesses have to come and wake him up during the turbulence. He is wondering why he couldn't just sleep right through that. They move onto scams. If you are ever in Italy and someone throws you a baby, just swat it to the ground and yell "I don't think so!" He is just trying to take a bite out of crime.

Andy is now talking about comedians who don't have a correct premise. He had a door to door salesman job and learned that most people don't like to be disturbed at home. His mother only gets about half of what he is saying and always tries to involve him in the conversation. She would say things like, "Andy you were a bartender. Why don't you fix your uncle Sandy a scotch and soda?" And on that note the music ends the session, and the first season.

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Last Modified: April 2, 1999