Summary - Episode 102 Pretzelkins
by Jeff Sass

Our second episode begins with Katz talking with his father about Bingo. Katz describes how he likes to play Bingo but doesn't want to actually see it scheduled in his planner. After finishing cooking fried eggs (in the microwave), he stops by his room to grab a tie and finds Ben eating in his bed.

Katz would like Ben to take his father to the urologist. Ben of course is very busy getting his resume together so at first he complains. After a brief description of what the urologist does, Ben decides he has had enough talk and will take him.

Over to the office where Ray Romano is showing a picture of his twins to Laura. Laura isn't into kids however and has to pause the "intense" conversation to answer the phone. Ray's wife is on the phone and she wants him to pick up a few things from the store on the way home. Doughnuts, cereal, spring water, and some other essentials are listed. Ray then has to take another call on line 2. It is another patient. After playing phone tag with both calls he enters the office to begin his session.

Ray starts with a story about his 3 year old. She can just stare out the car window thinking about "candy". Adults really cannot relate to candy. They have to worry about gay issues, lump issues, and ju-ju fruits on the table.

Canada is the next subject of discussion. Ray relates a story about how the Burger King employees are required to be bi-lingual. Is the US, they aren't even lingual. He has to draw a picture of his hamburger to get one.

Katz is now in the bar having a conversation with Julie. Stan is not present at this occasion (he must be at another bar). Katz is depressed and Julie thinks that it is because he spends to much time with unhappy people. Katz gives her a business card for her friend and we see the cartoon character of Jonathan on it. Julie wants to know what that is in his hand. Katz responds that it is a pencil although Julie doesn't quite buy it.

Wendy Liebman is now on the couch and she is excited about getting her first period today. Her mother is "neurotic" about germs. She puts down toilet paper on other peoples seats - at the dinner table.

Ben is in the elevator and Laura enters. He decides to stay in and ride it up with her. Even though Laura states that she remembers him, he insists on retelling her who he is, along with a comment about her having a shiny face.

Back to Wendy and the monkeys. She hates the zoo animals that are small and have heads - kids. She then comments that kids are nice if they are your sister's because you can leave when they get annoying.

Back to Ben and Laura hanging out in the elevator. Laura is about ready to strangle Ben as he talks about leasing and renting the elevator. He then makes his usual attempt to ask her out to which she responds "I am in my own private hell!" Ben gets the feeling that "they are not connecting".

Wendy likes it when a man pays for sex. She also thinks the author of the Bible is one heck of a writer.

Laura will not break patient confidentiality with Mrs. Liebman (Wendy's mom). She will also not sell gift certificates to her.

Back at Jacky's bar - this time Katz is talking with Stan. He is having a mid-life crisis. Stan is suggesting some "zaa-zaa-voom" and a little "vagavagavagh". Jonathan says that even if he wanted a little "knuck knuck knuck" where would he get it at his age. Stan suggests fooling around with some of his patients but Dr. Katz took an "oaf" (oath) not to do it. Stan then suggests that he gets some new shoes. Julie is taking in the entire converstion and only gives an eye roll. Stan then says to use vinegar to force yourself to smile and the results are a little scary when Katz tries it.

Back at the house, Jonathan is telling the story of his youth (for the 100th time) to Ben. The clown story. The pep talks are always so depressing.

Back to the rat under the table and Wendy on the couch. Wendy (queen of the one-liners) is talking about her ex husband. She is looking for a man who will cry when she hits him.

Wendy is then out with Laura and wants her laundry ticket validated - she thought it was a valet ticket and now realizes that her car might be misplaced.

Ray wants to talk about his neurosis. He cannot watch football during Thanksgiving because the women turn off the volume which makes it very difficult to concentrate on passing the gravy.

Ben actually rented a movie and is asking Jonathan to leave for the evening. But first he asks for the Pretzelkins. Ben has "met someone else" and cannot see his dad anymore.

After some gratuitous photograph shots we are back with Ray. He is frightened about losing his memory. He cannot remember his phone number and the other numbers from his life are taunting him by dancing around his head. He cannot remember whether or not he shampooed his hair. He needs a checklist. Every man needs to do a certain something in a shower. The cast of thousands is in there with you in your fantasies until your mother shows up. "Call security!" Ray screams. When his mother makes a cameo in his fantasies it sends him right to therapy. The music cuts off Ray.

A final shot of Katz (looking thrilled) playing Bingo finishes the episode.

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Last Modified: April 2, 1999